Mindset for Artivists: Part 1. Identify and Stop the Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage is incredibly common in the creative and artistic fields, perhaps even more so than in other industries. Add the pressure of making something with the intention of contributing to social change, to highlight a topic you’re very passionate about, or just channeling your rage into a non-violent act, could add to the self-sabotaging tendencies.
The good news is that we can identify our self-sabotaging tendencies and stop them from hindering us from our artivism.
There are, in particular, 3 common areas of self-sabotage for creatives:
Fear
Perfectionism
Overworking and burnout
Let’s go through them one by one.
Fears
I want to start with fears because I believe that they are the root of every self-sabotaging tendency we have. Fears are also universal because we all have them.
Some fears are definitely deeper than others. There are usually one or two that are your deepest ones, the fears at your core level. These fears are often associated with pain or death. We won’t be focusing on those here.
The fears we’ll be focusing on are the ones I call self-sabotaging fears. They often show up whenever:
You step outside your comfort zone
You want to make a big change
Or when you want to start that special creative project you’ve wanted to work on for a long time
Really, anything you feel excited about or helps you get closer to a goal or a dream you have or have had for a long time could trigger that self-sabotaging fear to show up.
Your self-sabotaging fear is also individual to you. It can be:
Believing what you have to express isn’t worth anything
Imposter syndrome
The fear of losing your artistic voice or values
The fear of being seen
The fear of success
The fear of rejection and criticism
And so much more
I think our self-sabotaging fear, at the deepest level, if we dig deep enough, often says something about our self-worth. Especially this idea that we’re not worthy, which is something I think most of us are struggling with, whether we’re artivists or not.
For the purpose of this post, however, I want you to explore the other levels or facets of your self-sabotaging fears, like the other ones I mentioned above. You can do that with the exercises below.
Before I give you the exercises, however, I also want to mention that our self-sabotaging fears always have a benefit. You wouldn’t hold yourself back from doing something–especially if that something matters a lot to you–unless there was some benefit to it.
Most often, that benefit helps keep us inside our comfort zone, where it’s comfortable and where we don't have to:
Take a leap of faith
Strive for something better or greater
Put ourselves “out there”
Play bigger
Etc.
Our fear keeps us from doing something outside of our comfort zone, which is unfortunate because that’s usually where the growth happens and where you can achieve the results you want.
So, what can you do about it?
Exercises
Think back to a time when you wanted to step out of your comfort zone, considered putting yourself “out there”, or wanted to make a big decision regarding your creative career:
What did you think and feel at that moment?
What belief or meaning did you attach to yourself based on those thoughts and feelings? (i.e., “I’m a failure”, “I’m lazy”, “I don’t deserve this”, etc.)
The answers to this question are your self-sabotaging fears. Identify 1-2 main ones that keep showing up whenever you want to get out of your comfort zone or do the work that matters to you.
What is the benefit you gain from believing your self-sabotaging fears? What do you gain by staying in your comfort zone?
Ask these questions for each of your chosen fears that you identified in the previous part.
Exploring what benefits you’ve gotten from your self-sabotaging fear will help you see that those benefits don’t serve you anymore. You’ll see that your fears are actually holding you back from doing what you want to do and keeping you from getting the results you want.
Are your fears in your control or out of your control? (i.e., the fear of criticism is out of your control because you can never control how someone else reacts to you or your work. The fear of not being good enough, however, is within your control because you can choose to change your beliefs about it.)
If your chosen fears are out of your control, how can you release and let them go?
If your chosen fears are in your control, how can you change them?
Are there any other ways you can commit to stopping these self-sabotaging fears from holding you back?
Perfectionism
Perfectionism has been glorified for a long time. To the point where it’s something many of us often strive for.
We’ve been convinced to believe that perfectionism is a strength, that, if we are perfectionists, it means that we are:
Hard-working
Detail-oriented
That we create excellent things we can be proud of
Etc.
That may be true to some extent, but as someone who used to be a perfectionist, I believe that perfectionism is driven by fear rather than striving for excellence.
Often when we strive for perfection and want to show up as perfect, it’s based on fears like:
Being rejected
Being criticized
Being called a fraud
The fear of putting our work “out there” because we think the lack of perfection in our work might reflect poorly on us
Etc.
Perfectionism is about making it all about us, rather than our work and the possible help and service our work may bring to others.
And that is if we’ve done any work at all, because the danger with perfectionism is that it can hold us back from even creating something in the first place.
Other effects of perfectionism are:
Procrastination
Constantly revising your work without moving forward
Or never finishing any projects
I also want to mention that perfection is subjective. What you deem as perfect isn’t necessarily what others see as perfect. Likewise, what you see as imperfect isn’t necessarily what others think of as imperfect.
Whatever kind of perfection you’ve been chasing in your creative work, and for however long you’ve done it, your work won’t necessarily look perfect to other people. Criticism will be a part of your journey either way.
At the same time, though, there will be people who love and appreciate your work, no matter how imperfect it may be. And, more importantly, if you stop striving for perfection, you won’t just be able to create more work, but also create work that’s more meaningful to you. By doing that, you’ll also create work that has an impact on other people, whether that’s your family, community, followers, or however far you want to reach with your artivism.
If you feel called to explore possible struggles you have with perfectionism, you can do that with the exercises below.
Exercises
Let’s start by digging deeper into the idea of perfection and perfectionism.
Do you or have you glorified perfection? If so, how?
Where do you think those ideas come from?
Are your ideas of perfection founded in truth, or are they external opinions?
Next, I want you to consider how perfectionism shows up in your creative work.
Take a moment to think about the last time perfectionism held you back from/in your work. When did this happen?
When you think about this moment, what were you actually fearing? (i.e., that you’re not skilled enough, that people won’t like it, that it would reflect badly on you, etc.) Dig deep.
Again, look at your fears to see if they are in or out of your control.
How can you release fears that are out of your control?
How can you change the fears that are in your control?
Now I want you to change your perspective.
What would it feel like to finish the project you’ve tried to perfect before it’s “perfect”?
How would it feel to create from a place of service? What would it look like if you worked on and finished a project that may have a positive impact on other people (whether that’s your family, community, culture, etc.)?
Is striving for perfection more important than the possible impact your work might have?
Another way to deal with perfectionism is to intentionally create “imperfect” work. You can do that by deliberately creating work that's not perfect. This can help you become more comfortable with imperfection and reduce your fear of failure or being criticized.
This is where my love for exploration, experimentation, ugly art, and play comes in. Of course, you don’t have to share this imperfect and experimental work with anyone else. This can be a practice just for yourself.
Overworking and Burnout
This is something I’ve personally struggled with for a very long time. I was born and raised in the Western world, and here it’s all about hustle culture and the idea that you’ll only “succeed” if you work your ass off.
But I’ve come to realize that’s not always true for everyone. Instead, the constant hustle can lead to exhaustion and a drop in creative quality. I’ve seen it happen on my own creative journey, and I don’t want it. I’m sure you don’t want that either.
Nowadays, I look at my work as plants that grow organically and, sometimes, outside of my control. They obviously need my love, care, and attention. However, in the same way that overwatering a plant can kill it, not taking breaks from my creative works can have a similar effect (it often did).
The times I’ve overworked a manuscript, poem, or painting have been countless. I can’t even remember how many projects I’ve scrapped because they were beyond repair, or paintings that needed to be painted over and started anew. Fortunately, I’ve taken all those “mistakes” as lessons and learned when to take breaks so I can return to my projects with a fresh perspective.
Rest is just as important as work. It isn't laziness. It’s part of the creative process. Your best work often comes when you’re well-rested and have a clear mind.
Now, rest doesn’t always mean lying on the couch and bingeing on a show. Rest can include a lot of different things, like:
Researching a topic you’re curious about
Spending time with friends and family
Working out
Being in nature
Journaling
Spending time on a creative hobby that doesn’t require the same skills as your current projects or work
And more
The important thing isn’t so much what you do. The important thing is that you give yourself the time and space to rest and refuel so you can return to your creative work with fresh new energy.
Exercises
So, what can you do when you’re feeling overworked and burnt out?
What are some boundaries you can set around your work and the time you spend working?
You can, for example, define when your creative work starts and ends, avoid working late into the night or on weekends unless it's absolutely necessary, or schedule time for rest in your calendar if needed.
Also, if you have a team, what are the things you can delegate instead of doing yourself?
Next, think about what makes you feel most rested. Having a list of things you enjoy doing and things that refuel your energy is a great resource to have when it’s rest time.
Then, make sure to block out time for rest in your calendar every week and do something from the list you made.
Final Words
Even though self-sabotage is a common struggle in creative fields, we don’t have to make that our lived experience. With some awareness and reflection to uncover the roots of the self-sabotage and figure out how to deal with it, we can all be confident and courageous artivists.
Now, I would love to hear from you. What self-sabotaging tendencies do you struggle with most? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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